• Ashley Urban

Outrageous Dreams

My goals are GRAND and obscene! I want to be the fashion editor of Vogue...fuck, I want my face on the cover too. Or maybe I’ll be the creative director of Harper’s Bazaar. Maybe I’ll make my own damn magazine that is a beacon of fashion and culture and creative exploration. I want to give a TED talk about why developing personal style through creative expression can transform your life! I want to get paid to teach people how to be the best versions of themselves and how to awaken their inner creative. I want to be a the anti-Kardashian good influence for young women. I want to form a modern day Bob Fosse inspired dance troupe. I want to design scarves for Hermès. I want to be paid to be in the front row at Paris fashion week, EVERY YEAR. I want a chic loft on Broadway in Downtown LA, in Manhattan in Paris, AND a custom designed, off the grid, zero environmental impact home in the forest. I want to freely travel the world whenever the fuck I please. I want to change lives with GRACE, INSPIRATION AND STYLE. I want to help people find love for themselves by pushing them toward their creativity. I want to bathe my family in money. I want to be a ferocious powerhouse. I want to be Diana Vreeland meets Coco Chanel, meets Leonardo DaVinci. I want to create every single day until I die.



I dream for all of this and more. And to hell with anyone that thinks I’m outrageous or wanting too much. Life is short and I’m gonna be a bad bitch. I will always chase my dreams and goals and so should you!


Life is absurd, let’s be absurd in it! 


Let's talk about DREAMS, shall we? I want to give you one of my first rules of surviving this brutal life. A life that tries to destroy us. In a world that's in decline. I want to tell you a not so secret secret to living fully and with intention. A tool, one of the most powerful tools we have in the human experience. And that, my dears, is DREAMING BIG. I mean BIG BIG. BIGGER. EVEN BIGGER! Get wild with it. What would you dream of if nothing was too absurd? What has sparked excitement in you and then quickly got shut down by "being realistic"? What are you afraid to admit to yourself that is your wildest of aspirations? Those! THOSE are the dreams I wanna talk about. Those are the same kinds of dreams that helped me claw my way out of a bottomless chasm of darkness. Rabid, feral, ravenous dreaming. I'm talking about goals, baby! If I could give a list of the three most imperative ingredients in the recipe of saving yourself from your darkness, your past, you pain, your fear, your broken self, your broken family, your shattered hopes, your shame, your less than perfect relationships, creating a list of goals and dreams would absolutely be a must-have ingredient. We can start with small goals if you're already trembling in fear at this thought. But of course, I'm an outrageous woman and I like to start BIG and then get bigger.



Now honey, I do understand if I'm scaring you. Reaching for your bigger self is terrifying. It takes courage. It takes the willingness to break your own boundaries. It takes the strength to shed your fears. It takes the tenacity to say 'fuck off' to everyone that ever doubted you or tried to pull you away from your hopes. You can do it of course, in a more polite manner, but I'm a lady god damn it, and I like to say 'fuck'. So I'll say it again for the people in the back, "fuck off", to those who ever tried to make me feel like a fool for wanting a better life...and trust me, there have been many.


Yes yes, let's first start by shattering the idea that you are a ridiculous person for dreaming your dreams. Let's start by figuring out just WHAT those dreams are if you haven't already (keep an eye out for my next blog post for tips on that). You dreams are valid. They are magical. They are within your reach. But of course, one must work hard for the things we want, yes? Yes. Absolutely yes. We don't just lie there like a boring lover, hoping that our dreams simply fall from the sky. We WORK. We remain FOCUSED. We keep those goals and dreams staring us down DAILY. Write them on your wall, write them on your bathroom mirror, write them in your underwear if that's what it takes. But for the love of god, take yourself seriously. How are we to achieve anything of note in our lives if we don't have goals? Of course, I am a natural born wanderer and dreamer, and my goals can tend to shift based on where I've been and what's distracted me this time, but in general, my larger life goals have mostly remained the same. It's the smaller goals you must achieve to get to the larger ones that are most subject to change. And yes dear, it is also okay to reassess and change your goals as you see fit. You are not a failure for setting a goal and then realizing that the closer you get to it, the less you actually want it. I've had many goals I had to throw out the window because the reality of them was vastly different than expected. This is quite alright, because the power of exclusion is heavy. Knowing what you DON'T want is a powerful tool as well. And damn it, you are entitled to claim what you DO NOT want in this life, just as you are entitled to claim what you do.


If you are having trouble figuring out your dreams and goals, if you don't have a clue as to what your 'bigger picture' is, I'm here for you. Yes, you. Lucky you, babe. I want to help. I am such a strong believer in the power of goals and dreams, that I'll take the time to write this post that damn near nobody on earth is reading, just to give you some spark of hope. I am a consultant on living life like a bad bitch. Making it beautiful. Meaningful. Adventurous. Creativity driven. I want to help YOU be outrageous and lustful for life like ME. Because that's how positive change happens. And of course, in this world that seems to be drearier each day of Trump's presidency, I want to make change, I want to make it BOLD and BRIGHT and HOPEFUL. And not just for myself, but for you, dear reader. So let me know. Let me know what your big, juicy, outlandish dreams are. Let me know if you haven't the slightest fucking clue and we will fix you straight up.



Now repeat after me, "I want what I want and I put it into the universe. I deserve to feel hope and excitement and the willingness to become a bigger, happier person. I follow my dreams because my dreams will make the world a better place."


What are your ridiculous and beautiful dreams? Tell me, babes. Oh please tell me! I want to know your most grand aspirations. Let’s put it in the ether.


Yours Truly,

AU